Monday, 31 August 2009

gigi schappell ( aka Love is Hairy)

My first ever epic poem written during the peak of PMS. It reflects the usual feelings of insecurity, self loathing, paranoia, irritability, irrational thinking, mood swings, and a tendancy to turn on the loved one who is usually an innocent bystander. Mostly, it's just a silly poem about the hairy side of love.

Love is hairy, stubbly stuff
shave all week it's never enough
whether I shave it or slather on Nair
whack it or hack it will always be there.

Keeps coming back as much as you crop it
waxing and chemicals can’t even stop it
try to ignore it the nubs comes in thick
even my eyebrows, a uni-brow chick.

Come Saturday I don’t really care
let it grow outta my underwear
Let it alone that unruly mop
looks like I got me  a nice bumper crop

This is my way, ain’t gonna change
my love and my hair are looking deranged

Sitting there pondering love and love's looks
flippin’ through Cosmo and metrosex books
Beauty is bare in my favorite rag
Nary a hairy or haggard old nag

Eyebrows are separate and carefully arched
Lips are injected and never seem parched.
Legs are butt smooth, and so are are the pits
Love is not given to hairy chick fits.

Speaking of nares, mine is exempt
The nose and the ears are extremely well kempt.
Sunday mornin’ rolls around,
but his razor can’t be found 

I call out his name and wait for an answer
his ditty bag’s gone could It be that dancer?
The one that he watchesthe one he admires
could she be the one whose igniting his fires?

I’ve seen her there waiting, the picture of grace
smooth, fair and agile not a hair out of place
I sit on the edge of the tub shocked and numb
look in the mirror then look at my thumb

I eye up the woman whose not spent a dime
on personal pleasures as though it’s a crime
My overgrown garden could not see the light
though i cared once, now scared, like a crow in the night

Bought into myth and every girls hope
that she’d still be worth something without any soap.
Rummaged around in a drawer feeling sick
through my tears I lay hold of my old Lady Bic

Slipped into the shower, convinced he despised me
lathered and cried none of this has surprised me
He'd seemed a bit distant, preoccupied,
the more I persisted the less satisfied

I should have considered, my Love is not blind
his eyes are like sponges, his vision will find
The best of the beauties the cream of the crop
as sweet sugar blossoms parade past his shop

I have an epiphany, there in the suds
Time's never wasted on pruning the buds
Better to nip 'em if you're feelin manly
can't be mistaken for Charles or Stanley.

Lord knows the time that I've put in at Curves
for the sake of my health, for the sake of my nerves
But  who really cares if he's after that minx
just between us we know how she stinks

Let him go sister try rising above
cuz if that's all he's after it ain't really love.
Making my plans to rip up his picture
wipe out his memory, no longer a fixture

I can't say that I needed nor much that I cared
for the man or his old dirty laundry I've aired
When into my steamy retreat disconcerted
the voice of the man I was sure had deserted.

I silence my heart and put down the Bic
ease back the curtain and see my St. Nick
The hairy faced heathen is battered and worn
face kind of prickly needs to be shorn.

"What is THIS?", he demands
and held out his hands
 a worn out old mach 3,
the triple edge brand!

"I just CHANGED this blade
 and the thing's dull and rusted!!"
"Heck if I know"
 but I know I’ve been busted.

Step out of the shower bare skin drippin wet
"At this rate I think I’ll buy stock in Gillette."
I hold out my bic and smile at old Bones
"Would you like me to light your cigar, Mr. Jones?"

Leave him to his business
which won’t include the shave
Love is stubbly, love is soft
and hairy to the grave.

hello, Davey

Friday, 28 August 2009

indecisive clazy ( aka Define Lazy)

Nothing much to say here,
guess it's just one of those days
keep it light, avoid the fight
and fade into the haze

feeling lackadaisical,
I'll hold up for the ride
which way to go I think I know
but now I can't decide

'cause I'm an indecisive clazy
and whoa, oh so lazy
ain't nothing gonna move me,
until I'm running late

and here's my morning greeting
gosh I just can't turn away
then I'll wear my eyes out reading
lovely poems and waste the day

finally found my sunscreen
though the sun was going down
some money for an ice cream
grabbed my bike and tied it down

parked the car at the trails head
and pedaled toward the sea
four miles in to where it led
the beach, my bike and me.

settle down on soft warm sand
silk flowing through my fingers
not difficult to understand
how the kiss of sunlight lingers

A crab is crawling towards me
and we're looking eye to eye
he's studying my features
and I think he's gonna cry

shadows from the wired fence
on sands that are now free
the smell of salt mist roses
like a perfume for the sea

I thought of you and wondered
if you were home alone
all our plans for summer plundered
no time to talk, no phone

and I must admit I've missed you
how I wish you'd miss me too
but dismiss all this as nonsense
no sense in feeling blue

for what better way to wait
upon the Lord's good plan for me
than to take the path to Manasquan
and thank God that I'm free

pedaled home in darkness
with my tiny light aimed low
down the asphalt path I'm flyin'
with a heart in afterglow

All concentration broken
as drowsiness sets in
half my life spent jokin'
and the other sleep will win.

'cause I'm an indecisive clazy
and whoa, oh so lazy
ain't nothing gonna move me,
until I'm running late

i love indecisive clazies
smell the roses, pick the daisies
we can't think about tomorrow
it's today that's on our plate.

would you take the place of...

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

how could I resist


True Christianity is not a religion but a relationship with the living God. The Bible does not call men to come to a book of laws and commandments but invites them to come to a person, Jesus, God's Son. The gift of eternal life is not simply obtaining immortality but it is coming to know and be known by God the one who alone posses immortality. Jesus said:

(John 17:3) "And this is eternal life, that they may know Thee, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom Thou hast sent.

On a number of occasions Jesus emphasized the personal nature of the call that goes out to all men. Each time that He calls man to Himself the intent is to bless man in giving each person the opportunity to become complete in Him. Consider the invitation and call of Christ as recorded in scripture:

(Matthew 11:28-30) "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. {29} "Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and YOU SHALL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. {30} "For My yoke is easy, and My load is light."

All men are burdened to some degree with a load of guilt based on a knowledge of their own sin and failure. The only way to find rest from this burden is to lay it all on the back of Him who alone was willing and able to carry it all away forever. Only when the heart has trusted in the perfect and complete atonement found in and through Jesus Christ will there be rest. Once that burden has been given to Jesus one can then take His yoke upon them - a yoke that is described as easy with a load that is light. Having been forgiven of sin through faith, Jesus then calls others to begin to learn from Him how to live a life of real value and meaning. There is no demand for perfection only a call to learn and grow in and through Him. A call to learn how to live and love as God intended.

Jesus is not just calling a select few but He is calling all men to Himself. He promises that anyone who comes to Him will not be rejected. All are welcome and promised His Love.

(John 6:37) "All that the Father gives Me shall come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will certainly not cast out.

One might wonder what it is that makes the call of Christ so attractive. While Jesus promises peace, rest and abundant life the one thing above all that draws men to Himself is His love. Jesus said:

(John 12:32) "And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to Myself."


When Jesus was lifted on the cross of Calvary the unfathomable love of God was demonstrated for all time and eternity. At Calvary, God out of a heart of love, gave His Son as an atonement for the sins of the world. For His part, Jesus willingly went to the cross and laid down His life so that all would have the opportunity to find forgiveness of sin through Him. In these two actions we have a powerful demonstration of the love of the Father and of His Son Jesus Christ for this world.

(Romans 5:8) But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

(John 3:16) "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.

(John 15:13) "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

When a person becomes the object of God's love and the love of His Son Jesus there is security, protection, provision and blessing for time and eternity. The apostle Paul realized the value of this love and explained it in these terms:

(Romans 8:31-39) What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? {32} He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? {33} Who will bring a charge against God's elect? God is the one who justifies; {34} who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us. {35} Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? {36} Just as it is written, "FOR THY SAKE WE ARE BEING PUT TO DEATH ALL DAY LONG; WE WERE CONSIDERED AS SHEEP TO BE SLAUGHTERED." {37} But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. {38} For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, {39} nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

We can overcome all things in and through this love but before we can fully experience it we must come to Jesus and invite Him into our lives as Savior and Lord. According to the word of God Jesus stands at the door of each man's heart, knocking and waiting for the invitation to come in. He promises that He will become a part of the life of those who open their hearts and lives to Him through faith. Have you come to Jesus Christ and opened the door of your heart to Him? Jesus said:

(Revelation 3:20) 'Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with Me.

Everyone reading this is encouraged to respond to the love of God and the invitation of Jesus by opening the door of their heart by faith to a very real relationship with Jesus Christ as Savior from Sin and Lord of their life.

Saturday, 22 August 2009

what feels good

After a long day at the adult daycare center, and maybe more so on a really hot steamy evening, oh man, do I enjoy the deep freeze of my gym. Yes.

Not unlike most gyms, the space is brightly lit and open (3 story high exposed and partially painted concrete walls), with music which seems to flow on a river of pulsating rhythms effectively blending one song into the next. Being somewhat technologically delayed, I don't bother with an Ipod, but prefer to plug into HG-TV while killing time on the elliptical. When immersed in "Save My Bath" and "House Virgins" I am completely unaware of time passing. Every once in a while I will glance down and am usually shocked at the time/millage which has elapsed.I guess that's the point. Once I am satisfied and/or utterly bored with a re-run, I move into the sweaty smelly nautilus area where we wrap it up with a personal challenge to do so many sets of whatever. That's that. By the time I am done with my work out, I feel like crap. Cold. Exhausted. Hurting. Sticky. Smelly. Sweaty. Ready for a shower, food, and some sleep. Something huge is missing here. Something, but what is it?

Well, this week I discovered the joy of a hot dry sauna, and perhaps the next best thing to an actual date. NOTHING like drinking cool fresh water (or a smoothie?) while sitting alone in a hot dry sauna after a good workout. I highly recommend it. In contrast to the sensory overload and icebox chill of the gym, it's like walking back out into the dark steamy night... only MORE. What is it which makes the sauna so enjoyable?

The dark quiet small space seems to envelope your body as you take in the wooded mountain scent of cedar. The heat seems to penetrate and massage every aching muscle of your broken and tense body as you are transported to a place of recovery and serenity. The cool water rushing down your throat is like a refreshing mountain spring which revives and replenishes your dehydrating body. Maybe it's therapeutic because of it's ability to rid the body of toxins. I don't know yet, but it's really nice and now I understand why some people actually have these things built in their homes.

Time to get back to painting the shed. Gee, it's hot out.

the one thing- G Clair

the one thing that I've wanted
eludes me to this day
I drive around just looking
with nothing much to say
the ones that have it, earned it
while the others, we just pray
for the one thing that we wanted
but eludes us to this day~

Aye, the one thing that we wanted, but eludes us to this day

well you take the road to riches
and bloody well, you may
find the path that intersects it
when greed gets in the way
and blindly turn aside
when all the beggars plead, "oi vey'!
you've got the one thing that they've wanted
but eludes them to this day~

Aye,the one thing that they've wanted but eludes them to this day

while I wait around just hoping
that my wages serve me well
and try to keep the heat down
while the gas bill goes to hell
not the thing I really needed
but the one that keeps me warm
it's my thermal underwear~
all that's clingin' to my form~

Aye, her thermal underwear is all that's clingin' to her form

I pull myself together
in the early morning light
and layer on and layer up
'cause this has been my plight
the news guy says it's snowing and
Long Island's in a freeze, Geez
the last thing that I needed
and it's right up to my knees~

Aye, the LAST thing that she needed and it's right up to her knees

So I'll boil a pot of water
and I'll fill me up a tub
and I'll soak my father's daughter
till there's nothin' left to scrub
and when I'm toasty warm and ready
then I'll climb back in the bed
close my eyes and dream of summer
and the one thing in my head~

Close her eyes and dream of summer and the one thing in her head

It's the one thing that I've wanted, but forever left unsaid.

Friday, 21 August 2009

Thursday, 20 August 2009

you will always be...

Mr. E Date

"First of all I can't stand heights. Second of all, I don't want to be looking down at the sharks in the water."

"Well...then, I guess I'll just have to go up there by myself and YOU can wait for me down there in the boat."

"You ain't goin'."

Tuesday, 18 August 2009

and ever needed

:) xobtox

History and Meaning of Lavender Roses
Primary Significance: Enchantment, Majesty, Love at First Sight

As a way to express our most sincere love and appreciation, the appeal of the lavender rose is undeniable. With the wealth of symbolism that they possess, they can also be used to convey any number of deeply meaningful messages. Throughout the history of roses, the lavender rose has stood out as one of the most remarkable and engaging varieties available. Receiving a bouquet of lavender roses can make for an unforgettable experience.

Sunday, 16 August 2009

Rip Curl Jesus ( AKA rip curls, not girls)

the worst decision ever made, without discussion mine was laid
upon emotion's mounting wave which crests and falls predictably
and smashed upon life's golden shore, I drempt of better waves once more
and quite aware of what's in store, I mock my own fragility

a smarter girl would read the book, or take a lesson, have a look
without a mentor, face the crook who's got a mind to bleed her
at every turn they lie in wait, a shark infested Watergate
for women who, without a mate, are looking for a leader

i say "No More!", not one more time, will I give in to gifted rhyme
content to sip my beer with lime, while others still are taken
the worst of them are seasoned dopes who've done some time and know the ropes
and smooth as silk, I know their ilk, they prey on gals with bacon

and fry up tales of fish they've caught with this one gadget that they bought
and now you too, can land a catch if only you will listen
and here's the key, just follow me, and everything you want will be
this five will get you ten you see, his charming eyes, they glisten

but deep inside my insides churned, a sure fire sign that I'd be burned,
wish I knew then what I have learned from life's untimely curve balls
I hope to learn from past mistakes, to guard my heart from belly aches,
to watch for snakes, apply the brakes the next time some old perv calls

a hero is the kind of guy who always looks you in the eye
he tells the truth and will not lie, but not one to be brutal
he's gentle in the strongest way, and stands for justice come what may
a rip curl Jesus, any day, no dandy Yankee Doodle!

Sunday, 9 August 2009

drive 'er home manny mo...


It seems as if it happened only yesterday
we see the water rising, while the children play
some are on higher ground, while other kids are swept away
they barely saw it coming, starting running, but it's much too late.

run, don't walk

Monday, 3 August 2009

Help Put Feeleez In the Classroom

Feeleez is a matching game designed to teach feelings through play. Peace Through Feelings is: the donation of a Feeleez game to five hundred classrooms across the country.

School children in all 50 states will begin to acquire the essential skill necessary for peaceful relationships - empathy. These same children then post their drawings, videos, and stories describing how empathy has helped them resolve conflict, get their own emotional needs met, and create peace in their lives, to the Peace through Feelings website.

The key ingredient to a peaceful interaction of any kind, either between two children or two countries, is empathy, the ability to share and understand another's (as well as one's own) emotions.

To begin with, simply recognizing an emotion acts as a release valve, making possible more tranquil communication. Furthermore, awareness of those same emotions in others aides in motivating one to help, resolve, compromise, and cooperate.

We would like to see emotional intelligence regarded as one of the major pillars of a child's education, taught with the same devotion given to reading, writing, and arithmetic. We'd like to place Feeleez in every primary classroom in America.

The Grant for Change would cover the cost of five hundred games and their distribution to schools across the United States.

Feeleez would then donate a thorough curriculum for teachers to follow, provide a website for Project Peace through Feelings, and post/manage the content.

Empathy is a remarkably simple skill, yet capable of inspiring astounding change in the qualityand scope of all human interactions. Project Peace through Feelings starts at the beginning, helping children learn about feelings, seeding the potential end - a more peaceful world.

a great catch

Sunday, 2 August 2009

Saturday, 1 August 2009

just for the kids

Can you imagine having a father like this? My Dad used to take us for rides through the park. We'd have to be really quiet he said in order to hear the forest. He would also bring us to MeDonalds every so once in a while, which was a huge treat. And then Carvel for a soft cone. I don't remember him doing anything crazy like jumping out of a window...or taking a kiddies pool off a shed roof onto a trampoline. That's the sort of thing my nephew Ant would do. Not my father. The mother here seems to be the cautious one in the family.

just for laughs

just for fun