Badfinger-No Matter What

The moving tale behind the song 'Without You'

Without You-Badfinger ( Harry Nilsson made it his own)

the way I see it...

Kristy Lee Cook reminds me of June Carter and one day her very own Johnny Cash is going to come along and sweep her off her feet. Yep.

map quest

And how long did it take me to drive 22 miles this morning? 2 Hours! The map took me right to the edge of it and then I was on my own. Wound up in Trenton. I need to get a GPS.

1: Start out going EAST on SPROCKET toward SHIVERVIEW TER. 0.0 miMap
2: Turn RIGHT onto SHIVERVIEW TER. 0.2 miMap Avoid
3: Turn LEFT onto ONESHIP RD. 0.2 miMap Avoid
4: Turn RIGHT onto CREEPY RIVER RD/ CR-533. 1.6 miMap Avoid
5: Turn LEFT onto CR-632/ GRIGGSTOWN CSWY. 0.3 miMap Avoid
6: Turn LEFT onto PANAMA RD/ CR-632. 0.6 miMap Avoid
7: Turn RIGHT onto CHUNKER HILL RD/ CR-632. 2.4 miMap Avoid
8: CHUNKER HILL RD/ CR-632 becomes NEW RD. 2.7 miMap Avoid
9: Turn LEFT onto CR-522 E. 2.1 miMap Avoid
10: Turn RIGHT onto BLOWN OUT RD/ CR-679. 0.6 miMap Avoid
11: Turn LEFT onto CRUNCK RD. 2.9 miMap Avoid
12: CRUNK RD becomes CR-522. 1.6 miMap Avoid
13: Turn LEFT onto CR-522/ CR-615/ E RAILROAD AVE. 0.0 miMap Avoid
14: Turn RIGHT onto E RAILROAD AVE/ CR-522. Continue to follow CR-522. 3.3 miMap Avoid
15: Turn LEFT onto MOUNTS MILLS RD. 2.3 miMap Avoid
16: Turn RIGHT onto ENGLISHTOWN RD/ CR-527. 0.3 miMap Avoid
17: Turn LEFT onto UNION HILL RD. 0.5 miMap Avoid
18: Turn RIGHT onto PENSION RD. 0.4 miMap Avoid
19: End at 104 Pension Rd Manalapan, NJ 07726-8400 Map
Estimated Time: 42 minutes Estimated Distance: 22.06 miles

home on the radiator

i really enjoy being home these days, especially around dinner time before the sun sets. just starting to feel settled. started cooking again. something about making your own dinner. even if it's a scrambled egg. last night I threw in the remainder of that antipast, olives, roasted peppers, mushrooms, basil in olive oil with sea salt and pepper and an english muffin on the side. alittle cabernet, light a candle and kick back to the sweet sounds of....well whatever it was I was watching, i kept noticing the sunset through the window in the living room, the fish bowl i set up on the radiator cover( waiting for a Beta), catching the light and magnifying it all in the glass. I put that fishbowl there because it reminded me of scene out of the Cat in the Hat. Anyway...it's just nice. I wish I could have a child there. sigh...or a little dog. hmmm...or a fish or somebody.

but it's a nice apt. I love being home and wonder if I am in the early stages of 'Hermit'. Yesterday i went for a ride around the back roads and discovered a river which runs through it. Actually I discovered a parking area which leads to a trail which leads down to the river bank wherein I could possibly drop a kayak. I was thrilled until I realized I'd have to have a second person come with me to park at the other end, wherever that would be...Rats. I need a second party! maybe I should take up fly fishing.

what ever became of....

I tend to Google quite a bit. It's my way of coming up with new things to think about. New ideas. Still, every once in blue moon, my curiosity peaks and I have to google my past. Because my first ex has a very common name, I Googled his wife's name. This led to her employer, a private school. I Googled the school and clicked over to the PTO
(Parents Teachers Organization). I was stunned. There in the middle of the page, a publicity shot ( for the school), of Mark and his son, working on a wood shop project together. Amazing. Anyway, I was glad to see that he turned out alright. Married for many years, still wearing his ring, hasn't lost any fingers, still the same guy, looking thoughtful and content, caring and involved with his children, and involved with the PTO. jackass. oops. see? no wonder. bet she never calls him anything. see how long that lasts.

So that's that.

Next!

sweet mysteries

At the end of the day
it could go either way
much like at the end
of this song~
Well I write for a while
then I sink to a smile
when I think how you
draw me along.

Well we came with a story
a beautiful song, unheard verses
locked deep in our soul~
and the way to discover
what lies locked in this lover
find the key that will fit
the keyhole.

And sometimes we're inspired
other times we're just tired
and it's sad when we don't
realize~
it's because of ourselves
talent sits on the shelves
in the darkness for the rest
of our lives.

It was trouble and strife
anger cuts like a knife
and it tore at the door
of my mind (and my pride)~
it was then your sweet voice
through the keyhole rejoiced
and released the deadbolt
from inside.

So how I can tell you
just what's on my mind
I am corny and weird and unkind,
sometimes...
but I say what I feel
'cause i know what is real
and it sure beats what I
left behind.

Thought the answer was
finding
the right key~
the thing that would then
make you whole~
but the Master
unlocking
life's sweet mysteries~
is the love sown
in each other's
soul.

Doll

I took care of 'Doll' today. She has Alzhiemer's but is very social and brimming with Brooklyn diva personality. A fashion plate, Doll arrives dressed to the nines, complete with the hair, nails and accessories. Strange how it turned out that most of our clients are Italian transplants from Brooklyn or Staten Island. The " Ginny Gang Plank" as I have heard some of them say. Per her husbands request, I have been going over there on a Saturday or Sunday each week for a couple of hours to sit with her and help her with personal care. It gives him a few hours respite so he can get out alone. I really enjoy this couple. Very relaxed and peaceful at their house. Doll seemed different today. More coherent and less confused. It was nice to see that she wanted to do more for herself than usual. She asked me to leave the bathroom while she showered herself and then insisted she put her own make up on. The conversation we had regarding Chef Mike Colameco in the French kitchen actually made sense.

Me: " I don't know about you, but the chickens with the heads and claws still on them seem scary to me. I don't like buying food that still looks like the animal it grew on. Can't even wash a whole chicken without feeling sick about it."

"Tell me about it."

Me: " Look Doll they're cooking the head and neck like it's a drumstick right in the pan. Absolutely Gross."

" Well, you just don't look, Doll."

" And those frog legs. Look. He's eating them like drumsticks too. Oh man. I would puke."

" A guaranteed puke."

" and those snails. ew."

" This is just a disgusting thing we are watching, Doll ( she calls me 'Doll' too). Just don't look at it right now."

Maybe it was the prayer I said for her when we were sitting in the Library at work. Maybe it was Ensure I gave her this morning. I don't know but she was amazing.

We watched this other guy making Filo. I saw that if you take flour and add water, first, before the butter, you get a lighter bread like dough. If you add butter before the water, you get a cookie dough. He mixed the flour/sea salt and water and then threw it on the table and started kneading and rolled it out into a large square. He then put butter slices on 2/3 of it and folded it over in 3rds. He rolled that out and folded it up again...roll and fold. This increased the layers inside with the butter on each level. He said that in the oven the steam from the water want to be coming out but the butter won't let it...the hot steam is trapped inside and this forms the puffy layers in the pastry. Interesting!

I went shopping after that. Gas is up to 3.07/Gal which is still less than Lukoil. 3.09! I went to The Christmas Shoppe to look around and found some bargains on throw pillows some other stuff. I met a potential client in line in front of me. For some reason she opened up about her sister who is challenged and one thing led to another. She's gonna bring her sister over to the center. A really sweet lady. I think it was the throw pillows in her cart which got my attention. I happened to have one like it from Bed Bath and Beyond..." Lovely pattern on that throw pillow" "Oh yes! It's for my sister...." Amazing how throw pillows can spark a whole new relationship. Then over to Kirklands for a Lamperge (sp?) and some other stuff. The Lamperge is a decorative bottle which is filled with scented Pharmaceutical alcohol. The alcohol is wicked up to a stone which sits at the mouth of the bottle and is heated. The alcohol evaporates into the air, killing germs which cause odors, and leaving the room scented. The Lamperge was developed by a pharmacist in the early 19th century for use in the hospitals. Anyway I decided it would make a nice gift. Then on to the gas station for another 20 bucks worth of gas and then Shoprite for flowers and the ceremonial birthday balloon, and gift cards. Somehow I wound up as the collector of monies for the gift card. It's okay. I like doing the flowers and balloon, and it's all at Shoprite so I don't have to go nuts driving around wasting gas. So that's it.

I ate trail mix for dinner while I shopped. Ugh. THEN...topped it off with greasy antipast olive oil soaked Olives, roasted peppers, garlic, basil, mushrooms and mozzarella. I wanna hurl...excuse me.

Good night.

John Steinbeck (Steinbach...Spinecheck)

Sting-When We Dance

Rant of the Unhappy Housewife -Revisited

Golden words penned long ago
when you were young and zesty
occupied with lofty things
perhaps a lot less testy.

That which clouds our vision
tragic losses which destroyed
sweet perceptions,
dark deceptions
left you under-joyed.

Of girlfriends unattainable
rejection then would then smite
the hope of finding love,
which left you
just a bit uptight.

in the stretch to earn a living
well the boss is kind of rough
In trying to say something nice
you're on ice
cause she's hard-headed, driving, and tough.

The high cost of living, and then there's the tax
puts a strain on the old bank account
but that backbiting back-riding queen battle-axe
can jump from the ground to the mount.

and every day's the same old thing
like a hamster that's caught on the wheel
the same old thing is feeling old
and you're feeling cold as steel.

But still you ignore the passing of time
and balance hard work with clean fun
and believing that this is as good as it gets
you settle for less than The One.

Seeking distraction from everything dull
and attracted to that which you are
I skim self help books
while you eats what I cooks
and you're lost in the Harper's (Bazaar).

My cellulite was ill replete
and disappointments grew
and long before the smog moved in
it choked the thrill from you.

and out of this stress came the need to digress
so we sleep and we play and we drink
and we drain our desires and screw up our wires
and leave our sex life on the blink.

Simple amusements, the clutter of things
common to man and his beast
from the pursuits of knowledge and all that is brings
to the Thanksgiving holiday feast.

And now we're blown out, you lie and I shout
there's a palpable distance that's haunted
I long for the day when you'd hold me and say
that our life is just what you wanted.

But now mediocre, you opt to play poker
and run with a sweat pool of stink
and hoping to find something good on the street
in the morning you feel like a fink.

Left to your own devices
sleeping soundly, your heart's one desire
for passion it waits, while the office debates
and will do so until you expire.

Displacing my anger I'm less satisfied
and will never see straight, as you'll see
my own crooked finger was put through the wringer
and now it points straight back at me.

Golden words penned long ago
when I was young and zesty
occupied with lofty things
perhaps a lot less testy.

'Crooked finger' is a miserable fantasy of mine which helped me cope with singleness one day. I try to imagine the grass being all burnt out on the other side of the fence and find it elating. Not really. I have enjoyed some good things in my previous married life. Funny, I was googling crooked finger and found Eric Bachmann I think his name is. Anyway, it's just a PMS mood.

If you like dark, drunken, folky music, I highly recommend checking out Crooked Fingers. http://www.crookedfingers.com/flash/index.htm
THis song by Crooked Finger actually reminds me of Dylan's 'Spanish boots of Spanish Leather'.

Lost, or just losing it?

It was as if couldn't hear. What, with the music and all the noise, one could scarcely hear their own thoughts. But there was no mistaking him.

I dropped the weight and looked up. The man was massive. A handsome mass of rippling black muscle in black with white side stripes, a man I immediately recognized as one of Work Out World's personal trainers. A serious trainer. I had seen him before. Watched him working with women at the gym. Pushing them onward through the pain. Oh the pain. Consequently, I have been careful not to make eye contact with any WOW trainers.

Lost. How dare he?

But of course I was lost. They went and moved everything around since my last visit! Oh, I knew what he was getting at though and prepared myself for the pitch.

"What was that? I didn't catch you."

" I said you look like you're lost here."

I wiped the sweat from my upper lip. You know, I actually enjoy attention. Maybe even crave it. Just not from a guy who wants me to pay for it. So...where was I? Ah yes, lost.

" Actually, I am just not used to the new floor plan."

" That's not what I mean. You really look lost, like you don't know what you're doing with these machines."

What does he mean? It's not like you need to be a rocket scientist to use these things. Sheesh. Just read the...Oh. Seems I had sat down facing the wrong direction for this particular machine.

"oh...well...I really don't know every machine here. I mean just do what I can. As many as I can. 3 sets of 10 at about 30 lbs for these here arm curtains." A little humor to offset my discomfort for having been discovered.

" You need to do 15 reps. 4 sets."

" Uhm...that's twice as many. I don't think I can do that."

"You need to. More reps. Less weight. Burns fat...if you don't your'e gonna waste your time here. And you're gonna wind up with big muscular body...you don't want that do you?"

"no..."

" You need to keep the weight low, just enough to burn your muscles during the last 3 reps of each set."

"Oh..."

" You wanna burn fat, not build muscle, right?"

" Right."

" You need a trainer. A program. Otherwise you are just wasting your time."

" Oh..."

" Here's my card. 10 sessions for $800 to start. my name is Al. Al Spaulding."

Shaking his massive hand.

"Gertie... nice to meet you."

"You just let me know."

" Well sir. Al.... This is really more than I can afford right now. Maybe in May."

" Ok, you let me know. But you NEED a trainer. You wanna be ripped, right?"

"Well... I don't wanna be wasting my time here as you say and certainly don't want a massive butt as you say I am going to get from lifting too much."

Dear God, that's why I'm here in the first place! Get rid of this table for two. This junk in the trunk.

" Well you been doing it all wrong. You do it my way and you WILL see results. Think about it."

Over the next hour, Al would drop in on me with free professional weight lifting advice. He stood by and told me exactly how to use the machines to get "results". He pushed me to finish those agonizing last 3 reps and I hated him. But not really.

" If you want, I have a cheaper package. 7 for $455."

" You know, Al, I might be able to swing that."

I'm thinking that this time last year I put out just as much for the Botox which wore off after 6 months. This would be more useful and healthier. Maybe in May.

As I left the gym, I walked passed Al and patted him on his massive shoulder.

"Thanks,Al for the helpful tips. I appreciate it."

" You just remember what I told you and think about it."

Sting- The Shape of My Heart

Sting- Until

America

she said the man in the gabardine suit is a spy...I said be careful his bow tie is really a camera...

I love the lyrics to this song and the way the words flow freely like conversation. It just seems to be aching for more verses...or maybe not. I'll have to sleep on it.
( I loved the Meatloaf commercial with his son asking for a cellphone. "Let me sleep on it." "Daddy, Daddy"....ah that's another song.

Let us be lovers well marry our fortunes together
Ive got some real estate here in my bag
So we bought a pack of cigarettes and Mrs. Wagner pies
And we walked off to look for America
Kathy, I said as we boarded a greyhound in Pittsburgh
Michigan seems like a dream to me now
It took me four days to hitchhike from Saginaw
Ive gone to look for America

Laughing on the bus
Playing games with the faces
She said the man in the gabardine suit was a spy
I said be careful his bow tie is really a camera

Toss me a cigarette, I think theres one in my raincoat
we smoked the last one an hour ago
So I looked at the scenery, she read her magazine
And the moon rose over an open field

Kathy, I'm lost, I said, though I knew she was sleeping
I'm empty and aching and I don't know why
Counting the cars on the New Jersey turnpike
They've all gone to look for America
All gone to look for America
All gone to look for America

the boxer

When I worked for Mr. S, his driver, Paul, would pick us up ( in Mr. S' Mercedes) and take us out for a ride. Mr. S always liked getting out the house. We would take the scenic route to the movies. One time the driver told me how he went to the same high school as Paul Simon, I think in Queens...not sure. But he said that a group of kids would go to the Soda Fountain or some kind of greasy spoon joint after school. Art was sort of nerdy I guess from what the driver said, and he hung out with another crowd, but anyway... Not sure if Art Garfunkel went to the same school even, but the driver said that Paul Simon would be sitting there with his guitar and notebook, trying out new songs for his friends. He'd play one and then say, " Well what do you think of this one?" and his friends would give him feedback.

Wild Ocean Footage

A Nescafe Morning

this is a truly a beautiful morning. A sweet soft spring breeze gently blows my curtains and I no longer smell that disgusting skunk/tuna casserole that had awakened me before dawn. For the past few weeks, not every day, but generally in the morning, it's been the same thing. I am yanked into consciousness by that awful stench. At first I thought it was my neighbor downstairs but soon became convinced that I was breathing something from within. Perhaps a sinus infection or morning breath. I always wondered why a person couldn't smell their own nastiness since the olfactory nerve is sitting right over the upper respiratory tract and allows us to experience odors from the outside coming in. Anyway I have been a bit disturbed over the whole idea, thinking that something was wrong with me...what is this stink, and how miserable it is to be awakened by the stench of tuna casserole. It was while I was lying in bed contemplating all of this, that I decided on a little OJ with that Tuna. I rolled out of bed and stood and moved over to the window to get some fresh air, clear out the offending odors. Lo and behold...if that stink wasn't on the wind. Sure enough, the smell my mind had been translating into Tuna casserole, was actually the scent of coffee beans roasting. Nescafe has a factory in Freehold, about 4 miles from me, and when the wind is right, or in this situation, wrong, it carries on it the sweet aroma of coffee brewing...a nice smell. Sometimes a bit skunky, which was how my predawn subconscious mind had been experiencing it. I read once that there are certain odors which the mind can not truly differentiate between, some of which could go either way. Certain cheeses for example. I'm am not taking this post down that way but just the same I was thrilled to be able to relabel that odor as coffee beans roasting.

Ah, a beautiful morning, the aroma of freshly ground coffee beans wafting through my windows on the breeze. Mmmmmmm..........

A Presidential Mystery

Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.


Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.


John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.


Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy .
Kennedy 's Secretary was named Lincoln .

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson .

Andrew Johnson , who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.


Lyndon Johnson , who succeeded Kennedy , was born in 1908.


John Wilkes Booth , who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.


Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy , was born in 1939.


Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named ' Ford .'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the kicker...

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe .