Saturday, 23 June 2007

bad hair nightmare ( aka The Barber)

I asked for the color I had as a child
"I don't think so", he said, and that's putting it mild~

I went to get up from the chair but soon found
the weight of that bib thing was weighing me down~

the eyes of the stylist, so cold and unkind
were narrowing as he approached from behind~

and in his hand something we both recognized
'twas the braid from my worst childhood fears realized!

The one that he cut off right here at the neck
and left me there wearing a 'shag', what the heck!

"You don't want this color, it's way too outdated
and what could be duller, than the one God created~

What you need now is product I'LL mix
a light honey blond with some purple, to fix

the damage you did with your cheap color tricks,
and the thing I hate MOST about all of you chicks!"

"Barberian justice would snip off your locks,
but you've suffered far worse when you turned to the box~

and then to add 'insult', you pulled through the cap
and expecting great highlights, got dried out straw crap.

Next time we'll just give you a "shorty", it's called,
don't mess with my color or you may wind up bald!

13 comments:

Josie Two Shoes said...

Too funny, Gina! Hairstylists seem so often to have another vision for us than the one we have for ourselves, for better or worse. ANd they do love to go for those scissors on longer hair. What makes me laugh is that the great majority of hairstylists I know have TERRIBLE hair - they've tortured it to death!! Weird, huh?
I was totally amazed when my stylist complimented me on my haircolor after I first did it. I must do my own because of the cost, but use professional products only - not the box stuff from Walmart. It doesn't cost more but is much less damaging and leaves nicer color. My daughter turned me on to that - she's always got great suggestions! You asked me in a recent post if I'd consider going mahogany. I have once - a little too dark for my ghosty white skin, but pretty. I've also been candy apple red - yes, really, it was fun too! And also blonde for just a short while on a bet to a friend. I didn't like that - definitely NOT me. Funny thing is, when I started dying my hair back to auburn, close to it's original color, about six other people in the office became redheads too - GROAN!

Gina, I just love how you can take a common theme or idea and turn it into a wonderful poem - the gift of a true poet for sure!

Josie Two Shoes said...

When you publish that first book of poetry, put me on the list for an autographed copy!!

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Very humorous. It does sound like a nightmare. I like the line where the hairdresser dislikes what God had made.......how presumptious! :)

Gina said...

Wow, Winn, Thanks for that compliment. If I ever publish, I will write a poem for you in it... Same here with your bio! I wanna hear more about the commune...

So you've experimented have you? Candy apple red? WOW. I would love to see a pic of that one. So funny how you can go any color of the rainbow these days and it wouldn't shock anyone...I need my roots done in the worst way but the woman who does them is only available on Thursdays and I was thinking of doing the....yes....but I decided to wait until then and see if she can squeeze me in. I hope so, anyway, it's payday Thursday next week so....the girl is the BEST. She does it at her home and it's a bit cheaper that way, but she always tries something different to compliment what you have already. It's really fun! And then the cut is always a good one. Way better than when I used to do it all myelf! In a mirror....

Gina said...

You know LGS, I actually went through that braid thing as a 6th grader. There was a lice epidemic and when the nurse called my mom re: my sister, She freaked out. We had been invited to sleep at a friends house who KNEW her kids had been infested. Well, mom dragged us all down there, i wanna say by the hair, but it was without even asking us how we felt and the guy, Nable Nimon, his name was....actually braided our long hair....and cut it across at the neck. I was in shock for a few days. Locked myself in the bathroom and cried for hours, and then....had to go to school where i was subjected to scrutiny of my classmates. That was the same year i wore plaid bellbottoms and a shirt with a sweater vest, and pendant necklace with a large plastic ivory toned elephant on a red plastic diamond shaped mount.

Thank God for Debbie Krupa who also had her hair cut and was sympathetic. I think Angie had Mr. Jeck that year...yeah. The year of the french horn. Angie walked with me down to see the music teacher, Mr Manzo, so I could tell him that I was done with the French Horn. Who could blow that thing? Preferred piano...Angie was quite a clarinetist. She had really nice hair too. Nary a liceegg in that hair.

Josie Two Shoes said...

Hey Gina! I don't have a photo with the candy apple, but I wish I did, it was just kinda silly, for fun once. Didn't have a digital camera back then and I'm lousy with regular cam's cuz my eyes don't focus together. With digital I can take 20 'til I get it right!

Someday more about my communal adventures. But I fear everyone would be frowning, not sure I'm ready to come that far out from my "nice ol' lady" nowdays image. LOL What I will say is everything that I have experienced has helped make me who I am now, so it's all good in that sense!

Gina said...

Well Josie ...of course anything from your past is past and gone and needn't be brought up if you would feel at all uncomfortable. Right? Kind of goes without saying doesn't it? Frankly, I doubt if any one of your amigos would be frowning should you ever decide to blog about your communal experiences or what have you. I for one, would be hard pressed to judge anyone, all things considered!

Angelissima said...

HAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA! That's a goot one.

We all fall prey to the lure of the box! Especially during the full moon and PMS.

My biggest fear is a short haircut.
I think I fear that what's left of my youth will end up on the cutting room floor.

Now you can pull off a cute cut. I'd end up looking like Phil Donahue.

Gina said...

i can't stand my hair cut into layers...reminds me of Bon Jovi. I decided to let em grow out! no less than shoulder length for me, Ang.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHA! G-!!! Nabile Nimon! HAHAH I havent thought of one of my worst nightmares till today!!! we ate humble pie, WHy, by george! I think we have another poem in the works!
Heres my poem- Born out of a bad hair day- Its entitled-
HACK JOB
Nabile Nimon met a Pieman going to cut my hair said Habile Nimon to the Pieman. "let me taste your wears.". Said the Pieman to Nabile Nimon,"you just keep cutting hair- short to the knape,out of date, and the girls will eat your humble pie, mon!"

Gina said...

Ha! Elena. I think this is where the laugh cry originated from. You are too much! I think mom still has those braids somewhere....
We were piemen all right, when he got done with us. Thanks for the memory!

Angelissima said...

OH!!! speaking of hair color....
Katie dyed her hair white/ash blonde and the under layers turquoise blue!

It looks so cool!

Gina said...

Wow... Add a palm tree hat and she's her own island!