TMI

"Gingerale, coke, lemon and lime
Don’t have a watch
Can't tell you the time
Iced Coffee with milk,
no sugar for me.
Don’t care for sweetners
Prefer caffeine-free

Used to drink Yoohoo
but can't seem to hold it
I've held in this heartache
it's high time I told it.
My father is cool
he trims up the hedges
Mom's kind of smooth
but rough 'round the edges

Once found a seashell
put it to my ear
all that I heard
was a-guzzlin' beer
guzzling beer
not what I expected
had me a Mexican
but soon he defected

Looked for him everywhere
thought he was nappin'
But he'd hit the pavement
Hirotchees were slappin
Somebody told me
he's back in Borrero
fryin' up churros
in a fancy sombrero

Dined on raw fish
with a Guido beguiled
'Till he told me he'd die
before having my child
Excuse me, I told him,
I think you are mistaken
I'd rather have triplets
by sexy Clay Aiken
Been burned before,
but I'm still kind of shocky
Swallowed my pride
and swore off the Saki

Low and behold
a dude who says "Schmatah"
unorthodox fella
who can't stomach matzah
Head full of curls nice Hebrew diction
believes in his heart
Aliens are nonfiction.
He ain’t into me
prefers to be single
Made sure my milk
and his meat didn't mingle.

Stopped into Quick-chek
to get me a bite
met up with 'ol Manny
who put up a fight
mountain of misery~terrble liar
asked for a bike
and he gave me a tire
Flattened but patched
my heart isn't aching
I think it's a sign
the thing was worth breaking

The back roads to Red Bank
are bumpy and narrow
hard on the bones
but good for the marrow
I looked at the clouds,
shook out the lining
can't see the forest
for all of my pining.
Ironic that shells
echo the sea
the old man he batters em
mercilessly

Mets beat the Yankees
what can I say?
wanted for nothing
nothing got in my way
Got up to stretch
Fell through the bleacher
and into the arms of a snake oil preacher.
Tinctures and ointments and warming love salve
can't erase lies and the memories I have.
Heard it before, how time is medicinal
But for healing the heart the price is additional

Beat for beat and measure for measure
grapes of gall and fermenting displeasure
tasted enough to know this can't be real
while mashing my heart in the search engine wheel
Not takin the road to that carneval ground
one more loney ride on the hairy-go-round
As for my heros and the asses I've pained
nothing is lost and everything gained."