Thursday 17 January 2008

baggage to burn


let me get the lyrics right
i wrote 'em on the bus the night
i'd had enough and left him for the city.
he sat me down there on the floor
'cause all the seats were sold before
and i don't mind, I'm fine, so save your pity.

as he turned, I saw him smile
and more relieved with every mile
'it's for the best', was just the way I heard it.
hollowed by the cold and shame
the wounded heart, it places blame
or tries to make you think that you deserve it.

and as the lonely hour passed
I caught him in the looking glass
the driver, he reminded me of Poppy.
He'd shown us mercy, must have sensed
the urgency and hurt condensed
beneath the smiles, the goodbye kiss, so choppy.

It really didn't matter though
Slid down this mountain in the snow
and one last ride beside it was exciting.
and wiping tears with my coat sleeve
last night he asked me not to leave
but we were just so tired of all the fighting.

and as I sat there in a haze
my purple mind reviewed the days
since marriage hell had swallowed up my joy.
As everything I'd done before
so blindly trusting, nothing more
mistaken for true love, I wed the boy.

but from that point, the veil was lifted
I was lame and he was gifted
or so that was the way that it all appeared
and so I bought the lie each day
to be a good wife, come what may
and hold in my contentions for I feared~

that he was right and I was wrong
and we had nothing all along
a thought beyond that which I could conceive~
and rather than just cut our losses
pack it in and tell the Boss, he
opted then to cheat and then deceive.

And thinking he could do no wrong
I wrote this stupid little song
as though the man was faithful to the end
strange that he had left behind
a trail of clues for me to find
but at the time, a comfort, to pretend.

And down in Denver it became
so clear to me, he had to blame~
another woman, could it be, was waiting?
I didn't have the energy
to see more of the worst in me
decided, there and then that he was dating.

Misery loves company
the woman sitting next to me
had something going on with her digestion
I'd like to say she burped a lot
and as it was she slurped a lot
but either way, I moved, at her suggestion.

And every stop was getting worse
the seats were reeking of the curse
and three days penance was the price of freedom.
and then my final destiny
Grand Central Station was to me
the answer to my prayers, that's where I'd meet 'em.

with a heavy heart and broken pride
we come to places deep inside
but older now, we see the lies and shed them.
I made the choice, against advice
of parents who are rather nice
and saw through all the heat and vice,
with wisdom.

I see the young girl on the bus~
she didn't drink and couldn't cuss
unless the moon was full on with her saddness
and then she'd turn and rant and get
to marinating in regret
and have a few to mellow out the madness.

had she known what she knows now
or I should say, what I know now
I would have taken flight before that bus
I would have come back home that summer
met my friend, and what a bummer
saved myself three days of stink and fuss.

save it for a better day
another heart will come my way
and in the end it's just another story.
Another chapter that was read
He breathed new life into the dead
and cleaned it up and now it's for His Glory.

2 comments:

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Sad but interesting. Thanks for sharing. Helps me understand the female perspective a lot more. By the way, what is that place in the photo?

Gina said...

Thanks, LGS. So much garbage to burn. That's Governor's Island, where I wound up in 1990-91. My sister's husbands were in the Coast Guard which were based there at the time, though no longer.

Governors Island is located in the New York Harbor, approximately one-half mile from Battery Park in Lower Manhattan and one-quarter mile from Brooklyn. The Island is 172 acres with nearly 225 buildings, considerable open space, and recreational amenities. Its waterfront offers some of the most dramatic and impressive vistas of the New York skyline and New York Harbor, including the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. The northern half of the Island, consisting of approximately 92 acres, has been designated as both a National Historic Landmark District and a New York City Historic District, and features late 18th and early 19th century fortifications, pre-Civil War arsenal buildings, Victorian and Romanesque Revival housing, as well as early 20th century neo-classical architecture. Five buildings within the Historic District, including Fort Jay and Castle Williams, are individually listed in the National Register of Historic Places.