an unlikely story

Like sugar from a shaker
snow falls on Saul, the baker
delivering steamy biscuits
from the shop he calls his home.
In a drafty run down mansion
lives the princess, on her pension
she complains about the bills
but strives to make it on her own.

Today he takes her order
"One fresh bagel, for a quarter,
cuz I haven't seen the likes of one
since I left my childhood home".
Well he's never baked a bagel
but he's not one to finagle
and wanting just to please her
finds a recipe from Rome.

And he was thinkin to himself
I must be way out of mind
ain't no woman gonna want a baker's life
but he carried deep inside his heart
the will to be a friend
hoping someday she'd come around and
one day be his wife....

So to win her deep affection
he packs up his best confection
takes his chances on the backroads
that iced over in the storm.
She was waiting in the foyer
telling lies about her lawyer
said "he brought your day old bread here"
and this bagel isn't warm.
So he heats it on the fire
and though her heart is his desire
she will not accept the bagel
for it's not quite the right form.

And he was thinkin to himself
I must be way out of mind
ain't no woman gonna want a baker's life
but he carried deep inside his heart
the will to be a friend
hoping someday she'd come around and
one day be his wife....

So he runs back to his bagel board
and pounds the dough and rolls a cord
and shapes the perfect bagel into
a bagel lovers dream.
He boils and then he bakes it
and to her mansion takes it
Piping hot but now she wants
churned butter from fresh cream.

And he was thinkin to himself
I must be way out of mind
what woman's gonna want a baker's life
but he carried deep inside him
the will to be a friend
hoping someday she'd come around
one day be his wife...

Well he's starting to get ansty
but he knows the farmer, Clancy
whose butter is freshed churned
known by counties far and wide.
He heads out to the pasture
and he buys what he is after
and returns to find, 'tis so unkind
the princess, she had died.

The baker in his stricken state
swallows the bagel off the plate
then he calls the cops
pulls out the stops
and serves the day old bread.
He gives the details more than once
of how he ate the evidence
by now he'd thought he'd be let go
but they arrested him instead.

"Tis a likely story"
was the only thing he heard
although they bought his baked goods
they would not buy his word.
"The Baker is a Butcher"
Is what the tabloid said,
"better to take your bagel cold than
take it in the head".

But all was not as it appears
She owed the butcher in arrears
and when they went to check her craw
they found a hunk of mutton.
It ended all without a trial
the butcher he did reconcile
posted-"pay the butcher now
and do not to be a glutton."

And he was thinkin to himself
I must be way out of mind
ain't no woman gonna want a baker's life
but he carried deep inside his heart
the will to be a friend
and it turned rather nicely
as she willed him in the end.