Remembering Aunt Amelia's Afghan

those hats down there in my post on Thom Browne remind me of my one and only attempt at crocheting.

Yesterday, while driving Aunt Amelia home, we got into another discussion about the afghan she had crocheted for Mark and I as a wedding gift. It's a sore point for her. Understandable. The beloved afghan was black with the 140 colorful squares. Identical to the one you see here. It came in the mail, and we often referred to it as " Aunt Amelia's Mexicali Afghan' on account of the colors. I actually took this image from a Mexican Blog so I know it's a Mexican style. Anyway, I kept it draped over the futon in front of our wood burning stove which looked cozy. It WAS cozy. For a while.

You see, when he and I left Washington to go to Colorado, it was only for a season. Things had not been going well between us, poorly in fact, and we were looking for some way to kick it up a notch on the luv-o-meter. Our friends were moving out there from San Diego and we were young and fair game for a season on the slopes. Not that I could ski at the time. That came later. And so we put in our resignations, packed our bags and stuff, and left our home on the Peninsula. Our plan was to get jobs at the ski resort, have some fun, and then come back and plan our next move, probably to Bend,Oregon. We decided to pack as much as we could fit into his pickup and put the rest in storage. That meant choosing what would stay and what we should take.

Aunt Amelia's afghan remained behind, among other treasured items. my love letters etc. When Mark and I split up, he went back to Washington and offered to mail me my stuff. At the time I was so heartbroken that he was already with someone, that i could not bear to see whatever was left in storage. It was just too painful. I am not materialistic as it is, however, being in shock, I could not remember what was back there. I told him to give it to the Goodwill.

It was later on that I was reminded about the afghan. I wrote him again and he responded that he had gotten rid of everything as I had instructed him. I called the Salvation Army and the Port Angeles Goodwill. My afghan was lost. I felt badly about that. Aunt Amelia believes that he gave it to his mother. I hope that was the case.

I still feel badly because I know how hard Aunt Amelia worked on it. The love that went into each square. She told me yesterday that there are 140 squares and that she had to crochet them all together. That's alot of time and money and love. I realize that and it just breaks my heart that we could not find it. That I would forget it. That I could not face whatever Mark would have sent me.

She did make me another one about 4 years ago (when she was 87) just in case i ever got married again. It's beautiful white with a scalloped silver edge. Very soft. I have decided that I will never marry again and just enjoy my blanket alone in peace.

I am thinking about learning to crochet so when I am, as Mike put it recently,"scraping by on Social Security and eating dog food out of a can", I can keep myself warm and perhaps even fetch a few bones with my crocheting skills.

Speak for yourself, Mr. L, I will be dining on Fancy Feast Cat food out of my prized stoneware ramikens whilst cozying up in front of the TV with my own Mexicali Quilt. Bowling on Wednesday nights.