Wednesday, 23 April 2008

nobody puts Baby in a corner

i must have been half asleep by the time I finished up at the gym. Too long of a workout. Too long of a day. Anyway, i was in the bathroom over there, standing at the sink, mind wandering I suppose, when I lifted someone's keys. I guess they looked like mine. They did. All except for the BMW logo and hidden key. Actually the only thing that vaguely resembled my key chain was the little plastic card for the gym on it. Mine has about 5 or 6 keys. I was very tired. Have my second wind now, unfortunately.

Drove almost all the way home when I decided I needed to get gas and stayed on the highway which led into the wooded boonies. Found a lonely gas station at an intersection that was still open after 10, and asked the nice old Latino attendant man to fill it up. The man kept stopping the flow saying, "Are you SURE you want more?" I have never in my life had a dude at the pump asking me if I am sure. He did it several times, as if he thought I couldn't afford the gas. And every time I said, " Yeah...leave it, let it fill up.", he'd go
" Wooooo Weeeee!!! That's a lotta gaaaas, Ladeeee."
"Not really sir, same gas, more money. Please just let it fill. I'm serious. Fill it up! Come on..."
He truly thought it was going to explode if he actually topped it off.
"Should we let it go a little further or stop now?"
" Will you just leave it alone?!!! Let it stop on it's own, when it's full. Come on it's gonna be like $45. It's okay"
Geepers. What the heck. I just want a full tank. Am I asking too much? I was tired.
" I just don't know if it's gonna blow. Are you sure you can go that high?"

It was then that he noticed the Delorean.
The side door was up and it was like a scene right out of "Back to the Future."
Of course he was delighted to see that car. " Woooooo Weeeee! Will you look at that car!"
" Yeah that's really something, isn't it."
I was intrigued myself. I don't thing I ever actually got that close to one. Not when they were new. The new selfish man's car of the 80s. This one was made in 1981. Bout the same time as my Honda Accord which wound up all rusted in the fenders. Not the Delorean. I think they were going for 25 thousand at the time. I spoke to the owner of the car since I had to wait on my gas anyway. The driver was actually the father of the kid who owns it. The father is my age. This car was around before his son was born, probably when he was first looking for his first car and wouldn't have been able to afford a Delorean. Who'da thought his son would have one? Up close this car looked like a dishwasher to me. Beautiful stainless steel. Like everyone's kitchen appliances these days. That car was designed for the future and actually blends right in with the new age gas efficient cars out there. The liscence plate read '88andgone', just like the movie. So....

Finally the guy finished filling my gash durn tank.
"Woooweeeeeeethatjustaboutdoesitttt! How'd you let it go so low?"
" I just fill it up and refill it when it's empty."
" You shouldn't let it go so low. woooo weeeee! We topped it off. You just don't know if they are gonna 'BOOM"
I figured he must have had an incident involving an explosion at a gas tank. Combustibility issues.
"Thanks, you're very brave to fill it to the top. I appreciate it." I pulled out of there thinking i'd never go back. Gas is 3.35 and i thought i was getting a deal. 3.27 up the road. Anyway i drive into the ghost town I live near and pull behind the laundromat which is pitch black back there. Toss my garbage in the can and head on home. Pull into my driveway and get all my clothes together. I must get a gym bag. This morning I turned around and saw that I had dropped my underwear in the driveway and was so glad I looked. I'da hated to have those guys finding em there. Just my style. Sheesh. So I get out of the car and smell that perfume again. Expensive stuff. Nothing I have sitting around. Where is that smell coming from. Not me. I smell like the stinking gym and it was AWFUL tonight. The gym smelt bad. Like A. So I realize suddenly that I am holding 2 keychains and suddenly I see the BEEMER LOGO. "oh NO."

I have to drive all the way back to the gym. 5 miles. I try to call the gym because whoever left those keys in the bathroom is probably freaking out. I can't get a number from the operator. The gyms been there for years. That's ok. I pull up right beside the brand new gleaming white BMW SUV, and out walks the woman who unmistakably belongs to it. Olivia Newton John like. I get out and walk up to her. I feel like Fred Sanford in Olivia's presence. It's just not fair. She probably lives in one of those McMansions too. I have to stop myself from sinking to the depth of self pity.

" Excuse me, is this your vehicle?"
" I have your keys..."
" OMG!! Thank you!!Thank you!!! I've been looking for them all over and we just posted signs. Thank You!"

It hadn't yet occurred to her that I was the cause of all of this.
She treated me as if I had found her child who had wandered off.

"I'm sorry. I thought they were mine."
As you can see, I am driving a luxury Hyundai here, also white. Filthy too.
She thanks me again and I am feeling grateful that she is not screaming her little blond head off at me.

I leave her standing there, and quickly climb back into my heap. It's a good little car. I love it. I do. I do! Really? I feel like Charlie Brown. I'm just sick of the way my car gets so dirty all the time! Always filling up with trash. Stuff. Dirt. Laundry. Junk. Right now I am, and have been, driving around with a shelf unit I picked up off the side of the road last week when I was driving through Franklin Township. Couldn't resist. It was rounded corner thing. Black. Anyway, I have to treat it to a nice wash inside and out.

I have to remember that I am so happy with my lot in life. I am. It's good. I don't need all that stuff to make me happy. I drive out of there thanking God that it all worked out. That she was in a good mood. a glass half full girl. Thank you!

So on the way home. I was thinking about Jesus. Thinking how nice it would be to have a guy like Jesus, not the one from the Big Lebowski, the one from Nazareth. Someone real and relaxed, not making me feel stupid for taking someone's keys. I beat myself up enough as it is. I just want a little understanding; a timely "Nobody puts Baby in the corner."

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