an honest mistake

The other day i walked out of ShopRite without paying for my reading glasses. I had a lot on my mind. It's been that way forever. ADD? I don't know. Maybe. Something like overload. I was having a 'girls party', you see, where you get the girls together and sell some product. In the rush to get everything i needed for my 'tastefully simple' gig, I had inadvertently shoved the glasses in my bag. I decided it would be OK to go ahead and use them, since I had every intention of going back and paying for them. So tonight I went back to pay for them.

Of course i can't just go in and take care of my debt. I had to fill my arms to overflowing with other items. I get up to the cashier with my arms brimming and dump everything on her conveyor belt. I hand her another pair of the same kind of glasses just so she can ring them up. You see, I had already discarded the tag on the ones I had inadvertently walked off with.

She didn't get it. She kept handing me the glasses. " Here, these are yours."

"No, Maam, I already have the glasses in my bag here. I walked out with them on Friday. I just wanted to pay. Better late than never."

"Well....you are a very honest person."

" Actually, I should have paid sooner."

" So take these."

"I already have the ones I took on Friday... in my bag. Just paying with that tag."

" You are VERY honest."

"Well. come on, if I don't pay for them" I reasoned. "I'd be a thief."

" I am not implying that you are a thief. Only that most people would not bother to come back and pay for them."

"Ok, I just don't think it's a big deal when you walk out with something and come back to pay for it later. If anything you look like a scatterbrain or a thief with a conscience. Or you come out looking like some kind of wonderful person. Honest. I really don't want to draw attention here."

"It's just nice that you came back."

"Well"...and then it came out. "HOW COULD I NOT? I've been driving around for a year with a pair of cheap earrings I walked out of Walmart with, and have to bring those back too.". OH no. Did I just tell that?

I just can't get away with anything. Driving around with cheesy earrings which I inadvertently lifted from Walmart. Great. Everybody's gotta know my embarrassing secret. OK, I got them with the pukka shell necklaces last year. Kelly and I were going to a David Cassidy concert and we wanted to dress like Jan and Marsha Brady. I know!!! I got the Pukkas and grabbed the earrings as an afterthought and realized later that I'd picked up 2 pair tacky earrings, and in the excitement, one of them went undetected and unpaid for. I later discovered them that evening in with the bell bottoms (or maybe the shirt with the neru collar) I'd picked up for the event. No matter. I've been keeping them safe in my glove compartment all this time. Now they are back in my bag since i just discovered a Waw-mart in Freehold. Wawmart, for all your costume/jewelry needs. Pay first. Bring back later.

Ugh. I've got a bad taste in my mouth. Good night.